Full Moon in Capricorn: Sisyphus's Dream

“Captivity has a price, and so does courage...”

Today, we are experiencing a full moon in Capricorn. The full moon brings to the agenda an objective questioning of the goals we set for ourselves during the Capricorn new moon on January 18. The ascendant at 0 degrees Gemini in the chart heralds that we will embark on a new path by seeing the changing conditions 'as they are' since that day and by re-establishing our course accordingly. Mars, conjunct the ascendant and moving towards a conjunction with Uranus, points to surprising developments that will require us to be much more flexible. The Mars & Uranus duo is in a tight square with the lunar nodes; it is necessary to know that the path we are on will undergo sudden and fateful changes. Those who wish to recall the Capricorn new moon can re-read my article 'Defiance of the Mountain'. At that time, we said, 'Success belongs to those who climb the mountain in defiance of it.' Now, we need to let go of stubbornness and make an honest assessment. Are we getting somewhere, or are we rowing in vain?

For the full moon is in conjunction with the fixed star Facies. This fixed star, known as Stalin's Star, inherently possesses ambition, willpower, and target fixation, but on the other hand, rigid rule-following, inflexibility, and an inability to see beyond the unbreakable walls it has built around itself. It is clear that whatever state we are in this time, it is a torment we inflict upon ourselves, not on others. The full moon is in a square aspect with its ruler Saturn, with Neptune also alongside. The responsibilities we eagerly undertake, laden with ambition, crush our delicate souls like a colossal mountain. We know the way and what needs to be done, but we cannot somehow shed the heavy veil of perfectionism and take that decisive step that would solve everything. Trapped in a corner, we merely drift aimlessly in a victim role so foreign to our essence that it makes us say 'this is not me'. Pluto, tightly connected to the Midheaven and supporting the ascendant, wants us to be freed from these burdens and transform the process. Decisions that are long overdue must no longer be postponed.

“Nothing collapses. The world doesn't collapse either. Life never stops. What collapses are our fantasies about our loved ones, our ideologies, and ourselves. One whose dreams are shattered does not need to panic, asking 'So, was everything a lie?' It was a lie. The truth is, we can still open a new 'deck'.” Agah Aydın

When Capricorn is mentioned, diligence, discipline, and perseverance come to mind, but for Capricorn, productivity is paramount. To feel that it has achieved something, it is not enough to put in effort or sweat for it; it must yield results, provide benefits, and achieve a tangible and satisfying outcome. However, Capricorn has a trait borrowed from its opposite, Cancer; we can call this a type of addiction. This addiction is not like Cancer's world, an addiction to what is loved, familiar, its safe shell, or the past; it is rather an addiction to its tangible gains, achievements, the effort and time it has invested, and even the state of being successful. Even when there seems to be no way, Capricorn finds a way; it clears blocked paths with all its might; it manages to stay on track with incredible maneuverability over invisible obstacles but… if the path no longer leads anywhere, sometimes it cannot digest this, cannot accept it, and remains trapped on a dead-end road. Capricorn, in a way, is addicted to that mountain it stubbornly climbed.

As Mars in Gemini rapidly presses the gas towards brand new mental projects, multiple goals simultaneously, and a long to-do list, it is certainly not surprising that its ruler Mercury is stationary at the moment of the full moon, slamming on the brakes to stop us. Now, you feel ready to enthusiastically embark on these very familiar paths again, but there are some situations you've ignored, proudly hidden from yourself, and suppressed. You have sworn to cling to this antiquated path for success, for who you are in the eyes of others, even knowing it no longer sustains you, simply because you've put in so much effort. With Jupiter at an anaretic degree next to Mercury, this so-called 'never-give-up' state transforms into a pathetic extremity. The full moon, perhaps by whispering that the path may be exhausted, implicitly prompts a cost-benefit analysis. Climbing a mountain is one thing, carrying a mountain on your back is another. Like in the tale of Sisyphus… Let's remember:

King Sisyphus, famous for his cunning, had deceived the gods multiple times and even managed to overcome death. However, the gods condemned him to an eternal punishment: carrying a boulder up to the summit of a mountain. But whenever Sisyphus neared the summit, the boulder would roll back down, forcing Sisyphus to start over; these attempts continued endlessly. An endless cycle, fruitless labor, an unachieved completion…and eternal meaninglessness.

With the Pisces-Virgo eclipses we've experienced for the past 2 years, most of us feel like Sisyphus: tasks we feel inadequate at despite knowing them very well, tangled relationships, or mistakes for which we repeatedly pay the price…. Each time, the boulder we push to the summit with all its weight rolls back down before our eyes, but this time, perhaps more painfully than ever before… we no longer have the strength to push it up one more time.

Now, like Sisyphus, we stand on the mountainside, before that stone that has rolled back down countless times. Here before us now is a stone heavier than the weight of our hearts. In our hands, we hold an extremely sensitive scale, symbolizing Capricorn's pursuit of perfection. We measure the weight of the boulder, calculate the distance to the summit. We have tied the feeling of success to the weight of the stone and whether or not we can place it at the summit. We strive to reach the summit, to place the boulder, to establish a flawless order. But the stone rolls down again… as if it's a roller, crushing us too.

“One day I will succeed, my failure is not accidental, I must be making a mistake somewhere, I must be missing a very important detail…”

Perhaps not?

Perhaps you should just leave the stone, and things, to their own devices. Perhaps you should just stop.

Perhaps you should just... stop carrying stones!

Sisyphus's stone, stumbling and falling, teaches us that we no longer need perfection, but rather the ability to accept things as they are and to let them be. To accept failure and even learn to love it, as Nietzsche said, Amor Fati, love your fate… Perhaps with this full moon, as the sky changes so much, we too can for the first time see the stone rolling back down not as a defeat, but as a true liberation: liberation from the ideal of perfection, from the expectations of others, from begging for love and approval, and from the weight that the obsession with success creates within us… Taking the sensitive scale in our hands, this time we measure not the weight of the stone, but the burdens in our hearts that are tied to the stone.

And Sisyphus finally leaves the boulder behind and climbs to the summit, alone, in pursuit of his own dream. This time he embraces not the boulder, not even the gods, but an unburdened sky.

With love and light♥️